What a wild year!
I am very thankful to exit this year's roller coaster as the 2021 edition offered my my most intense ride yet. I actually felt the highs and lows this time around. I noticed the new colleagues I met in the line ride beforehand and felt overwhelming grateful to the ones who were with me longer and grabbed my hand when the ride got rough. Thank you. I feel bad that I am not that mindful every year. Having a gaggle of kids with a ten year age span keeps you from getting into much of anything, let alone having "all the feels"--you can't let your mind wander off too much as you'll miss driving their friend home from the police station at 2:30 am when their mom can't get them or a hug from one when another sibling rips all her clothes off the hangers you just spent a couple hours hanging up because they went over the imaginary line that divides their closet space. Yes, if you lay around in this place you will get a Westie dog on your head and a kiddie toe in your eye.
I love the network that supports me and I wouldn't have made it through the year without the creativity, compassion and capacity the group provided. Those lows were depressing; I felt them in my gut and see that bump up on the sizing chart physically, too. Finding my first gray hair this year didn't help either! BUT. THE. HIGHS... they lifted me off the seat a few times and after over a year of feeling so disconnected I felt more "me" again. The lows made each high more three dimensional. I could see and taste and hear and BE in those moments. I started my own company... something I dreamed about for a long time. I took care of five clients. FIVE! I also got to refer another to a friend who was just getting started. I spent time to figure out what was important to me... and where the noise was coming from. I needed a nudge to take myself and my dreams off pause. I don't think I would've moved forward without the lows. Not yet. Over time, you become more curmudgeonly (is that a word?). Ultimately, my annual income was similar to that I was comfortable with in a traditional gig and for that I am very, VERY thankful. But I know it's about the hustle and I have to start over again at the end of my current role! For now, there's a fork in the role... I opened myself up to a gig that would convert me to an employee again only because it is on point with some of the work I want to do. I am otherwise open to other interim executive director gigs, traditional consulting, and training and development building. My secondary area needs more research (creating an exposure pipeline for the next gen in association management). I'm pushing that one gray hair aside and chalking this year up as a win.
Not sure what 2022 will hold, but bring it on!
Enjoy the final days of the season! Whoo hoo 2022!
